Empty Chaos

Have you ever walked around with a weight upon your shoulders

Something heavy on your heart that also makes you feel light on your feet

An occupant of your brain that causes nausea but also makes you feel a positive high

The sweet sensation of expecting, but again not expecting at the same time

A fear of what may come, but wanting it oh so bad

A stampede of butterflies in your stomach you wish could just keep quiet, but you enjoy the music they make?

Have you ever felt that you had to tell someone something

That your brain and heart want  different things, and are fighting it out in your stomach leaving your body looking like a Roman battlefield.

Have you ever felt the need to express your feelings, speak your mind, free your heart from a prison you put it in out of fear of yourself.

And when you finally say it … you wonder what you feared.

Have you ever felt empty inside after you got that weight off your shoulders, after you freed your heart of its heavy load, when all expectations are gone, where there is no fear left and all butterflies have quieted down.

The kind of emptiness that still makes you feel light on your feet, still gives you the positive high and that sweet fearless sensation … where you can still hear the beautiful music butterfly wings make.